Who is dis bitch? by kfrey13

Editors Note: Welcome Katie, a contributor to this blog, who I can definitely relate to, and I thank her for sharing her candid story below.  Her last paragraph sums it up beautifully.

If you’d like to share how parenthood has intersected with pesthood, or something that would benefit the O&A community of procreators (besides condoms/birth control) contact me via twitter, or email me at spring2010nj@live.com.

 

You know you are an O & A pest when, you are at a wedding and the best part was seeeing a slideshow photo of the groom with Dane Cook and Bob Kelly. Then you proceed to slam Fat Bobby because half of his face was cut out of the picture because he was taking the picture. I know the groom only knew who Dane was so the picture was really supposed to be of the two of them.  I almost cheered, that’s how annoying I am because anyone O and A like, I am usually a fan also. Their are exceptions of course, i.e. Bobo, but I’m not here to talk about that tiny dicked retard. I’m sure you all are wondering who the hell I am and what I am about. If you happen to follow my on twitter, @kfrey13, all 110 of you, you will know I am a housewife and mother of 2 girls from Wisconsin.  I am home alone with 2 children. All day. I don’t get much adult interaction. However, I do listen to the Opie and Anthony Show, and it is the only adult converstation I get.  It is part of what keeps me sane as well as tuned in to the outside world. They are underpaid and underappreciated by many, but still I am a loyal listener and can’t make it through my day without them. Ugh, that shit was so sappy I threw up in my mouth a little.

The first time I heard O & A, I was in a Schneider truck going through Tennessee. My FIL had passed way, rather was horrifically killed, several months earlier, and I began riding in the truck with my husband to keep him from losing  his mind. This was when the boys were a premium channel on XM, and they had a free preview so we tuned in. It was the classic Larry King bit introducing “THE Motley Crue.” Of course us being rubes, we didn’t understand it at all and wondered what was so funny. We listened for a few minutes and were like, “Are they ever going to move on?!” and stopped listening. A couple of years later, my husband started listening again. Like any annoying pest, he would quote lines (badly) and say to me at night on the phone “Today on Opie and Anthony . . . . ” and I would cut him off because, like a typical caller, he could never retell the joke or story right and it was unfunny. Once he quit driving truck OTR he would listen to the show in the morning before work, and I would catch little bits and pieces. One of the first bits I remember was “Wake up your Spouse Wednesday.” I am a sadist, and I laughed by balls off listening to it (and imagining me doing it to my husband. ) Since then, I was hooked. I listen to the show on Audible now, because yes, I cannot miss a second of the show. I am one of those people.

What really draws me to O & A is they are topical, brutal, and honest about all topics especially parenthood. This is relatively obvious since I am a parent and since it is my “day job” my life is consumed by it. I love to hear (most) other people’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences. I live in a relatively small town, and like Opie, I detest talking with other mothers at the playground. Mostly because I think my views on parenthood are much different than your typical midwestern mom.  I’m not a mother who loathes the day my kids are out of the house.  Nor am I one who dreads talking to her kids about sex. I can’t afford to be a grandma for fuck’s sake. I don’t get outraged or offended when my children might possibly see or hear something that might possibly damage them.  I am trying to raise self-suffcient kids who aren’t afraid or sheltered from the real world, real language, or real experiences. I believe honesty is a truly honorable virtue and that’s why I listen to the boys. Like ’em or not, they are always honest. Everyone can benefit from that, even our kids.

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One response to “Who is dis bitch? by kfrey13

  1. Pingback: Hello. Is it me your looking for? « The Surly Housewife

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