Tag Archives: queen

Oh, I’ve noticed that she’s a noticer (and other goofy stuff)

Editor’s Note:  Thrilled to have @queenelisabeth contributing to our blog!  For more blog posts from the queen, click here

‘Live your life thinking any moment, something magical is about to happen’

Then my alarm clock goes off and real life starts to happen.

I recently read a blog about a woman with Type A personality that decided to stop telling her 4 year old daughter ‘Hurry up’. The reason being that her daughter like to take her time doing things. The mother couldn’t understand why the daughter wanted to stop and smell the roses. So one day, Mom has an epiphany and ‘wham’ no more ‘hurry up’ in her vocabulary. Her daughter was a ‘noticer’ and she was going to let her ‘notice’ everything and not rush her.

Her alarm clock has yet to go off. But thankfully, mine has.

I get what this mom is saying, her daughter (and most 4 ,5,6 year olds) like to take in the world around them. Pet the dogs, feel the rain on their face and ask 60 million questions from here to the grocery store in the space of 35 minutes. We, parents, want our child to absorb the world around them, to see and understand and perhaps gain a better understanding of things then we, the adults, ever will. My child~the philosopher.

But let’s get real.

As much as I want my daughter to be better than I am (which hopefully she will be) does allowing her to take her jolly good time getting from the house to the car really give her better childhood memories and experiences? How about it’s pissing down rain and Mommy needs to get you to your doctor’s appointment in 10 minutes. You need to get your ass in the car and pontificate about the brilliance of rain later! Are we bad mothers because we force our children to be considerate of the people around us, not to mention *gasp* the mothers and fathers who are, for lack of a better term, running this show?

I guess because I do tell my daughter to ‘hurry up’ that this blog post felt insulting to me. I would love to let my daughter hear and observe everything that catches her attention. I want her to think long and deep about the world around her; to love it, to want to make it better, to understand everything.

But I really need to deposit this check before the bank closes…so let’s go!!!

I feel like this mother is trying to manufacture these magical moments with her child by simple allowing her daughter to dictate the pace of everyone else’s life.

“Oh no, we can’t hurry, Britney is trying to decide exactly what shape the clouds are making.”

C’mon now.

My child is figuring out things faster than I can teach it to her. She observes, she drinks it all in and asks plenty of questions. But she also knows that when I say ‘Let’s roll’ she moves.

But, with all this being said, Kids do need time to just check the world out. I like watching my daughter watching people. Asking about different things and giving me her reasoning on things she has seen or heard. I could listen all day to her 4 year old philosophy. But I also want to raise a child that although she may have her head in the clouds, she’s got her feet firmly on the ground. She should know that there are time schedules and appointments. Walking around with no regard to anyone else’s time is not only inconsiderate, it’s rude.

Take it all in child, but keep moving.

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I am mom…hear me bully

Motherhood today is not quite the same as motherhood in previous times. We mothers have a new knitting circle, a new book club, a completely new place to interact with others of similar ilk.

Social Media

Facebook, twitter and instagram are all the new medium in which mothers can gossip, interact and exchange advice with each other.

We also bully each other.

Bullying has come to the forefront in society since school shootings, the LGBT movement and teen suicides have been thrust into our faces by way of news and social media. We are much more aware of how bullies are using social media to fling their abuse at their victims without leaving the comfort of their parents basement.

But moms do it too. We bully. But unlike our teenage counterparts, we are much more subtle.

It’s something I’ve notice more and more since I’ve been involved online. A mom will put up a picture of her child sitting in bed with the nightlight on and a ‘I’m not tired’ smile on their face. Then it starts

“He’s still awake? I would just turn off the light and let him cry it out”
Ugh.

What is it in our subconscious that makes us spew out our opinion like its gospel? What is the point of ‘telling it like it is’ to the point of hurting people’s feelings? To bully them into thinking that our way of doing things is the only possible way of doing it? Now social media has provided us the stage to which we can all perform for every person we accept a friend request from then listen and read all their critiques on everything I choose to share with them.

Nearly everyone I am friends with on Facebook or Twitter has a child; and at some point has shared a story (whether good or bad) about their child. Some are funny, others are sad, some are downright horrifying. What is perfectly normal to do in one household may seem crazy in another. But unless the safety of the child is at risk, it’s none of my business. I don’t offer an opinion unless asked. I don’t judge someone’s situation. If I think their post or status update seems weird or bizarre I refrain from commenting.

Example, I am in the final stages of potty training my 4 year old. She is stubborn with going #2 on the toilet. I have decided for the sake of MY sanity not to mention this on Facebook because I know what will happen. I will be bullied about it.

“My ****** was fully potty trained at 22 months.” ~oh yeah? but I’ve heard your little angel cusses like a sailor

“I guess it’s because you are a working mom that you don’t have the time to devote to training her” ~The Guilt trip agent trying to book me for a vacation…no thanks

and my personal favorite

“what you gotta do is……” Followed by a *surefire way to potty train my daughter because it worked on their child.

No Thank you!

For most of us moms, we are struggling to do the best possible job we can. We love our kids and want to raise them to be healthy happy people. But we make mistakes, a lot of mistakes. Social media is an outlet to vent our frustrations and perhaps get a little sympathy. We don’t need to be told in our facebook status exactly how to get my daughter to poop on the potty or how to keep our kids from destroying our sanity because they want to sing the entire song catalog from Bubble Guppies over and over while I’m on the phone with my bank.

Sometimes we just need a simple ‘lol’ or ‘stay strong momma-I know what you are going through!”

Everyone needs to find their own way until we can all meet in the middle.

Maybe for drinks

Cheers!
QE